The History

March Fuckfests

March seemed to have more fuckfests than any other month. I guess I was proud to take lots of pictures during March. March was basically the end for the fuckfest for a long time. I didn't know that, but it seemed to be cool.

After Spring Break and my whole depression thing going on, Nick, Jonathan Beachy, and I decided to have a Pasadena Fuckfest. (At the time, I didn't use the four people fuckfest rule, so it was still a fuckfest). We didn't take tons of pictures, but the story was awfully hilarious. LOL.

We went to Kohls, got kicked out basically for taking pictures, and then, as Matt Impelluso always does, he yells profane things. This time, I yelled my allegiance to the store in red, Targeto, and yelled about how much cooler Target was then Kohls.

Ironically, right next door, Super Target was being built. What a fuckfest that would be.

We went to the Pasadena Mall as well, and I found out what Dance Dance Revolution was. I didn't really like it. It seemed to complicated, so I let Beachy do all the work and play against Nick.

I'm not sure what else we did, but Nick tried to buy porn all day long. We also ran into the edge of the street, and the van made a strange noise. On Massey Tompkins, a car almost ran head on into us, in the lane we were supposed to be in. Nick talked with a funny pitch to his mom, and everything was sexy.

The rest of the week progressed. Jared joined Nick, Beachy, and I, and we went into the ditches on Fox Road. It was pretty fun. I enjoyed myself! We then went bowling. Man, it was hilarious. Then, Nick finally did it. He bought porn. It was probably the greatest moment of his life, considering I was the one that had to buy it, because he accidently showed his driver's license.

It was probably the most fun we'd ever have. When Jared, Beachy, and Nick saw me walk out with Nick's new magazine, they laughed so hard the van started shaking. Matt Impelluso once again comes to everyone's rescue.

The next fuckfest was scheduled for a while, but I wasn't invited till the last minute. It was a trip to Astroworld. I haven't been since. The gang and I went there the Friday before Spring Break ended.

Tommy, Kelly, Clair, Cheryl, Jeremy, Jeff, Nick, Andrew, and I went, and met up with Sheridan. This was the first time I saw Sheridan since we broke up. It was pretty devasting almost at first, but when I saw her, the haunting memories of last week seeing Jill cry made me forget all about it.

Tommy was having some problems with Sheridan. It seemed as if she was flirting with Andrew the entire time. He even took a timeout with me, sat down, and talked about his entire feelings thing with her. It made me almost hate her the way she was doing this to him, and back from when she did it to me.

The rides were really fun. I enjoyed myself. I hadn't seen Kelly in a long time, so we hung out a whole lot. Nick and I did some stuff together as well. At the end of the day, we were fucked. We sat in the van and listened to some sweet Marilyn Manson. Our feet hurt, but the day was almost worth it, except for Tommy. The Astroworld Fuckfest was the biggest fuckfest ever recorded, with a whole lot of people.

The very next week, I would see Sheridan again, which was really weird. Twice in two weeks? Unheard of. Beachy was having his party, and I accidently moved it to Clear Lake, because I wanted to go, and I dragged Joe into it. Before the party even began, Nick already caused trouble, by clotheslining Tanner, this stuck up BCA kid that lived across the street and down a block. We hated him. He was all bleeding and stuff, and Nick gave them a fake phone number. Their parents never came back to accuse my parents that my friend was a bad boy. Fuck them anyway.

Joe and I went, and picked up Sheridan. The thing about this was, Joe never met Sheridan before, and he peeled out in front of her house, causing her mom to go into this insane psycho bitch panic.

Her mom went straight to Mr. Gatti's, the pizza place where we were going to meet the rest of the gang. Instead, Sheridan wanted to buy Beachy a present. (Nick, Joe, and I gave Beachy a sword for his birthday. He loved it!). We went to the mall, picked up the present, and suddenly, Sheridan's mom calls me on my phone. She wants Sheridan outside at Mr. Gatti's, but we were at the fucking mall!!!

We're busted, and Sheridan leaves the mall with her mom, in tears, and Joe and I don't know what to do. If we go back to Mr. Gatti's, we die. If we don't, we die. We decided to die, and went back to Mr. Gatti's. After about an hour, Sheridan rejoins us, finally, getting her mom out of the psycho bitchness, and the party is settled. It was fun nethertheless, and I hope former employee Beachy had a good time. (Beachy was retired when he graduated, because TW employees who write on the newsboard older then a Senior aren't allowed, but can give up material that will still enable them to be part of The Warzone)

The Orgasmos

Many of you have been wondering, "What the hell are the Orgasmos?" Well, on March 3, Joseph Dickens became Jesus, and we soon were able to drive around all over the place. This led to Jenna and Jared going out by the end of March (where we are in this history profile), and the four of us hanging out almost every day. In turn, we named the group "The Orgasmos."

The Orgasmos consisted of the following things:

Many of the times, Jared, Jenna, and Joe now say that The Orgasmos was all about Jill, but that's not true. Jill didn't revolve around our world, she revolved around mine. I still liked her a whole lot, and the fighting continued. I could never get back to where we once were. It was horrible.

The closer and closer came the San Antonio Trip and UIL Concert and Sight Reading. We were all anxiously awaiting both events.

TW was still running. There were updates, just not as frequent.

The Major Events

The Walk to Wal-Mart
I've never done anything bad to anyone, but sometimes, Joe doesn't understand that. I would do anything to make Jill laugh, include probably kill myself. If I killed myself back then, and I knew that made Jill smile, I would have done it and watched from hell the smile she'd give, and I'd smile too, knowing I made her smile. I said the word smile too many times in this paragraph, but anyway.

One day, Dale had to go to Wal-Mart, so the Orgasmos piled up in Joe's 86 Mustang, 5.0, .302 engine with a super-charger, and Dale's 66 (I think) Mustang, that's not as good as Joe's. Cassie, Jill, and Dale went with Dale.

At Target, I decided it would be funny to run out of the car and make Jill laugh. We weren't at Target, we were on Baker, right next to the nice curvy road that takes you into Cici's and Target. Well, I ran off, and Joe just..left. I expected him to pick me up on Garth, so I ran really fast to catch up to him. At Burger King, I watched him drive off.

At this time, I wanted Joe to die, but I decided the funnier thing about this is - I'm going run to fucking Wal-Mart and kill him myself.

It took me about five minutes to run from Target to Wal-Mart, with some occasional breaks stopping to breathe. I ran into Wal-Mart's parking lot, and the group saw me and burst into laughter. At the time, my catch phrase was "Here's the plan!" and as soon as I got to Wal-Mart, I yelled, "HERE'S THE PLAN! JOE'S GONNA DIE!!" Everyone was staring at me. It was super hilarious. I ran around the store looking for Joe, and when I found him, I started throwing this stuffed lion at him. Cass then defended him and I couldn't beat him up or anything.

It made Jill laugh, so I succeeded.

It wasn't over. Joe and I then went to RaceTrac with Jill, Jared, and Jenna in the backseat. We threw Jared out at the Penecostal Church, and Jenna got PISSED. We had to turn back and get him or else we'd die. It was Jared's fault - he spilt Coke all over the Mustang, LOL.

Holocaust Museum
Mr. Sony, my camcorder, came alive. It was the coolest thing ever. I took it where ever we went. It was a good thing to catch conversation.

Jared and Jenna decided it would be a good idea to try and see how bad Jill could lie. I didn't really like it, but I went through with it anyway. I told Jill about something (a lie) that Jenna and Jared did, but I told her not to tell anyone, that it was in confidence. She said she won't. Well, she lied, and she told Jenna I told her about it. That was gay.

The Holocaust Museum was depressing. I don't know why Mrs. Hunt liked that stuff. But, it was nice, I guess, made me want to be a Jew. I held my hat closely with me. We then went to Fuddruckers, ate a pretty good meal (it took me forever to get my meal), and we went home.

On the way home, I was getting trucks to pull their horn at us. It worked. It definitely worked. I got it on tape, but, Jill wanted to see something before hand, and we taped over it. God, stupid shit. It was awesome. Afterwards, Jill, Jenna, and I went to Spanish and taped the shit we were doing.

Also on the bus, I found out that Jill suddenly had this weird hate for Cheryl. I didn't understand it, I thought Jill always liked Cheryl. Turned out, that really wasn't the case. To this day, Jill wants Cheryl to rot in hell, and if you walk with Cheryl, you should rot in hell with her. Jill hates everyone, btw.

Stage Show/Spring Fling
The Jazz Band performed Area 51, and everyone fell in love with Matt Wurzbach, including myself. Stage Show was awesome, except for the fact that it wasn't. The dances weren't that great, and all we were doing was trying to find Cheryl, and making corny band jokes.

I saw Sheridan there, and we hugged. It was weird hugging her, but of course, I didn't care.

Joe and I went to his grandparents house, and we taped each other talking about feelings and so forth. The tape is called the Cassie and Jill Monolauges, and its about us blaming ourselves for how much we treat Cassie and Jill bad basically. Joe constantly makes fun of Jill in the tape, considering he hates her, but soon, he doesn't live up to that expectation.

The next day, the band had its first annual Spring Fling. I took pictures, but they got deleted. They're no longer on TW, and really, they shouldn't be, cause they weren't that great in the first place.

The Jazz Band played, once again, a marvelous show.

Joe gets sick
On Sunday, Jared, Joe, and I bought a rocket to shoot in the middle of Honda Hills. We did, and we got it on tape. It was probably the most awesome and funniest thing in the entire world. To this day, the rocket is still out in Honda Hills. We never found it, because we never tried looking for it. After that, Joe and Jared launched just the engine, and the rocket almost killed Joe.

Joe didn't die, but he got sick. He went to buy more rockets at Wal-Mart, and he picked me up to go to school the next day, but I didn't go. We went to his house instead to shoot off the rocket and launch the engines. It was a great success, and that was also filmed. We lost that rocket too, however, but the engines hit the side of a roof and it was probably the most awesome thing.

Joe and I then decided to be stupid, sing songs from his jukebox, and make up this story about how I was the toliet monster with a toliet bowl cover going around my head, and how he was the innocent bystanding white boy. It was pretty hilarious, considering we made weird sounds the entire time.

Joe and I then schemed up a plan to get me back into school, and we found a doctor in Houston, made a fake note, copied it at Kwik Kopy, and then Joe brought me back to school. It was one of the greatest schemes ever.


    Although all of this was happening, Go Digital wasn't taking any pictures. It seemed up to me that I had more of a life to take care of first then, than take care of a web-site. I was letting people down. The hits were starting to decrease. I wasn't paying attention to what my life really was. We were in a recession. It sucked.
  • Even though this section only has part of March and part of April in it, I'm ending it here. The next history will include San Antonio, one of the worst tragedies in human nature, World War 3 with the Silvas and Joe vs Me, Jared and Jenna, the magical end to the Jill era,  me becoming friends with Liz, and getting kicked out of band.