The History

 

To some, the following is going to be me falling apart and losing all dignity in myself. To others, this is going to be a joke, and you will make fun of me. You will call me a baby, you will take Jill's side, and you will refer to me as a drama queen. Let me just say, you don't know what it was like. No one knows. The next part of this history shows what it was like to be in my shoes, the horridness....

The Forest Idea

Everyone missed Joe. There was no doubt about it. Even Jill missed Joe, and she knew Joe hated her, and she didn't even like Joe either. Joe was sick from an infection. He was really really sick, and couldn't even come online for a while. The Orgasmos were put at a halt.

Two weeks ago, Jenna, Jill, Jared, and I thought up an idea to spend the night in the forest. We were going to do it, and it was going to work, with the help of Jared and I. Jared and I fixed Honda Hills in a way where it was so nice and pretty to walk into. It was a passageway to heaven.

The main path was nicknamed "The Sheridan Expressway" (see 2001 Part B), and the circle in the middle was called "Orgasmo Square." The trails to the back were called Rideaux de J'Adore (The Lover's Trail), and many others just progressed on to it.

It was really elaborate. Jared and I did our deed. Jenna came out to help one day, and Jared was being a bastard about her being there. He worked and worked. I helped as well. We cleared out so many branches, it wasn't even funny.

The chilling memories of Honda Hills came back to me, and I enjoyed seeing how everything was the same from this perspective. The houses that once haunted me were out of my mind. No longer was I yelling "My, how things have changed!" Now, I was just there.

Jared and I pulled a cooler out to the woods for drinks. It was Wednesday, and we were done. The party should have been on Friday Night. Turns out, many complications were endured, and it was cancelled. The Orgasmo Square would be used for other things later though.

UIL

UIL arrived! Mr. Sony and I went to school, getting ready for one great day. We left school around 12:30. Around 1:30, Jill and I were being taped on the bus, and Jared was filming about what happened on Pre-UIL. It was actually a pretty good conversation. The only thing was, everybody on the bus thought we got back together or something. Liz (short and sexy back from 2002 History Part 1) thought we were always going out. I flirted with Kathy a little, called Liz a bitch (she called me a jackass back), and continued being questioned by Jared. Jared would use this questioning later on in this story.

Jill said something that made me excited. She said that maybe a fling would happen again, but maybe that would recap into something better, as I would have thought. I was so happy that I wanted to jump up and down.

We got to UIL and I called my mom, and for some reason, Jill enjoyed talking to her, so she talked to her too. We then called Joe, and Cassie talked to him. Joe got excited about that.

After a horrific performance on our part (actually, we never got our first practice note, therefore, we all started at the wrong time), and a great sightreading performance, we went home. On one of the buses, I gave a speech about how we actually made sweepstakes. Everyone laughed really hard to that one. Sadly, none of my real good friends heard it.

On the way home, Jill decided to leave me and sit with Bryan Wolford. Then, though, she got on top of him! The entire bus ride home, I was totally pissed and sad at the same time. We finally told Brad that Jill and I never officially went out, and Brad started laughing a whole lot, basically saying, "Good way to treat women!" Liz looked over at me and gave me a sympathy look. I didn't even know her that well, but we did talk on the way back from Solo and Ensamble. She didn't know the whole story, so she didn't say anything.

I was sad, and I basically ignored Jill when we got off the bus, and Jill got mad at me. That night, Jenna, Jared, and I went out to WalMart. At Randalls, I bought Jill this awesome stuffed animal. It was so awesome. It was the softest thing you could ever imagine.

Jared spent the night, and the front cover "In San Antonio" stood up about two weeks. Everyone hated it. LOL.

Also, Jared and I were working on the series Flynn, a show about nothing, just like Seinfeld! We were actually really into it. We wrote out scripts and everything. It was awesome.

San Antonio, Day One

San Antonio started off with me handing the bear to Jill. She liked it, but didn't love it I could see. Joe was back, and we were all excited for him. Jill wasn't sitting with me the whole way to San Antonio. She wouldn't let me rest my head on her shoulder because my stubble itched her or something. She then went to go sit over with Joe, and that was it.

At Fiesta Texas, all of us were determined to ride this huge ass roller coaster. I totally forgot what it was. It had the biggest drop ever though. We rode a sort of kiddy one at first. Jill and I sat in the same car, and that was cool. We both agreed to ride rides together.

Wait, I remember the ride now: The Rattler. Jill, Jared, Jenna, and I waited in line, with a bunch of other bands. Jill and I though, at the very end, chickened out. We didn't feel bad about it really. We just didn't feel like riding it.

Jill and I walked around the park a lot. She really wanted a big Scooby Doo, so I tried to win it for her. I even offered this guy 30 bucks for his Scooby. I wasted 25 bucks trying to win Scooby for Jill.

After a long day, Jared, Jenna, Joe, and I wanted to ride Spiderman, again. Well, actually, I was riding it for the first time. It turned out to be the best ride in the world. I loved it so much. The drop was so incredible. Everything was great at that moment.

Sadly, however, I had to run my damn ass off to the bus because we were late. So, I got my monthly excersise of running as fast as possible to the bus, which ended up in me almost dying.

San Antonio to me is almost like a minature New York, just cleaner, and with no big buildings. The roads aren't very planned out, and there's two decks to everything, just like New York. I love it sexually. I would visit again.

After that, we go to the IMAX to watch this stupid movie about things in the water. They started coming out at us. Instead, I just fell asleep. Hell, I woke up at 4:30 this morning, I was pissed fucking off. 4:30? We like, lost in UIL the night before!

I almost committed suicide after we walked outside when I saw Jill and Justin DeLoss kissing. I was just like, "Oh fuck..." and it was over. For some reason, when I got to the hotel room, I was ok, but as you will read for the following night, I really wasn't.

The hotel was pretty crazy. I forgot what it was called. The..Adam Mark right? I'm not sure. Someone from band confirm that. Anyway, Brad, Joe, Jared, and I found out that Jill, Cassie, Amie, and Jenna were on the same floor! We were so excited that we almost barfed. We were going to plan a scheme.

While I was taking a shower, Jared and Joe had another plan, however. They took down the vent and tried to talk into the girl's room. When we figured out that was dumb and we just had a telephone anyway and it was free room-to-room calls, we just called Jill every five minutes. I forgot what happened right outside the IMAX while it was going on.

When I got out of the shower, it turns out the vent came totally out along with the filter. I'm frantically trying to put it back together, because the maintenance man is outside, trying to find out what the hell is going on inside the room. Finally, I get it latched, and I open the door.

"Hi, is there problem with vent?" - Freddy, the maintenance man
"OH NO! NO NO! No problem!" - Matt
"OH NO PROBLEM? OK OK THANK YOU!" - Freddy

We laughed for about 10 minutes. Then, I ran to our friends Tomas, Craig, Shane, and Kade's room, and we laughed about Freddy some more. This night has so much potential it wasn't even funny. The next plan was to wait till like 1:30 in the morning to start walking around and get to the girl's room.

I took my video camera outside and accessed the damage. Nothing major or anything. I went back, and did it again. This time, I gained access to the girl's room, and I stood in there for 20 minutes. We talked and were dumb for a while. Cassie was asleep, and so was Amie.

I went back, but on the way, I had the funniest idea ever. Jill told me to call her when I got back to my room to make sure I got there ok, and that no security caught me (we weren't allowed to be out that late at night). Well, instead, I told Craig and Tomas to call Jill and tell them I still wasn't back yet. This sent Jill and Jenna in this hilarious set of panic.

After that, we told them I ran up to the 27th floor, and I was in the laundry room. I called Jill myself and told her what happened. Then, I pretended someone was coming, so I hung up the phone really fast. Tomas and Craig then called her about three minutes later, saying I called them from the basement. Then, I called them once again (reminded that this is still in Craig and Tomas's room) saying I was by the pool area. Jill was so pissed at me that I hung up on her and she was "so worried." That prompted me to continue my scheme and I said I saw a security guard coming after me. Then, Tomas and Craig called saying they saw someone running around the pool, with a security guard chasing after them!

What came next was probably the most hilarious thing ever. Shane Pryor, who at the beginning of this really wanted sleep, was laughing his fucking ass off. Tomas called Jill with an "English accent" and said that they needed to talk to the band director and they had the wrong number. Jill then went on telling Tomas about me or something and not to get me in trouble. All in the meantime, Craig, Shane, Kade and I are on the floor, trying to get some air in our bodies.

We realized Jill and Jenna were definitely freaked out and almost like, dead with worry. I then called Jill and told her I was on my way to her room cause it was closer to the stairway. I ran outside with the camera. What happened next was payback: A security guard walked right out of the stairway. He didn't care about me though. I pounded on Jill's door and I could hear her saying "GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM! HURRY!" So, I ran back, got on the phone, told them I was ok, and that was that.

Jill and Jenna believed this story for months. It wasn't brought up or anything. It was known as the "Mr. Clem almost caught Matt in the hallway so Matt ran up to the roof, then to the basement, then to the pool, around the pool, then the hotel was looking for Matt" conspiracy. I think Tomas and Craig told Jill several months later.

After that, Kade went to go take a shower. Brad woke up and had no idea what we were doing. We then took some rope, tied the handle on the door, and tied it to a chair near the entrance to the room. Craig sat on it. Kade then inturn pulled the rope so hard, it almost knocked Craig right off his feet. I had this all on tape.

Then, me and Brad started a water gun war and I was taping it in the process. The night finally ended with Brad and I picking up the horendous mess all over the place in our room. We finally went to sleep. It was around 5, and we had to wake up at 7.

San Antonio, Day Two

Day Two started off fine. We had breakfast in another hotel (long ass story). After that, we went to Sea World, and were about to enjoy our lives as fish. We ran to the Steel Eel, this massive roller coaster that looked so insnae to ride. We rode it. We loved it.

Jill wasn't feeling so well. I almost felt obligated to say by her side and make her feel better. I don't think I was helping. She watched us ride the next ride, "The Great White" almost six times. The entire time, Joe, Brad, Jared, and I were singing band songs on the way up down, sideways, inversely, and every position you could imagine. It was so incredibly hilarious.

I had a bad feeling Jill was about to die or something so I stood around her more. Joe, Jenna, and Jared wanted to ride the Steel Eel again, and Brad and I joined them. The only problem was, we sat in the back, and our heads like slammed on the back of the seat. It sucked SO BAD. Brad and I gave up and we then started filming Joe, Jenna, Jared, and Laura on the coaster. I filmed the drop and everything. It was sexy.

The entire time, however, Joe was all over Jill, and vice versa. I kept staring at him and hating him, considering he "hated Jill" and he thought she was absolutely disgusting. Just when we were getting to the next attraction, the Magic Time Machine, I could feel my life crumbling before me. Not only was TW dying because of lack of updates, but it was just horrible.

At Magic Time Machine, Joe gets water dunked all over on him, and I do the same just because I wanted both of us to look like idiots. I took the camera and started filming Jeff and Jill fighting. Both of them wanted to sit with us at the table. Since I was gay, I wanted Jill to sit with us. Jeff sat anyway. I love Jeff, but at the time, all I could think about was her.

TW was filming everything that was going on in such a sexy fashion. I planned to put this all on the site, as soon as I got video and sound capabilities. The next thing I did was to go downstairs with the juniors and seniors. I talked to Mr.Clem a little. Then, I went up to Liz's table and stole her cheesecake, for no reason at all. I saw it there and decided to piss the hell out of her off. She wasn't really mad though. She actually started laughing and followed me up the stairs. She got her cheesecake back unharmed.

Back at the hotel room, it was so cold, and Jill was freezing, so I almost ripped off the thermostat to give us some warmness. We then went into the Adam Mark's stairway, where me and her talked about everything - and I poured out my feelings.

Basically, whatever I said didn't really phase her. All she told Jenna afterwards was she felt like an idiot. I left the stairway ashamed and embarrased. I was losing so bad, and my best friend was almost winning, and he was winning what I wanted in my life so bad...her. No, this wasn't a competition for her, but, I felt like everything I did made me lose.

When we got back, a very miraculous event happened. I sat in one of the chairs with my head buried in my hands. Jared and the rest of the boys were dissing Jill and saying how bad of a person she was. Jared even compared her to an "ungrateful bitch" and "whore." I just stood there, shaking, because I didn't know what to say. When they asked me what I thought about her, I couldn't even think of words. It was like they were proving to me how stupid I was. I didn't think so.

A talk show started, called Flynn. Jared asked me questions. At the same time, everyone was making fun of everything. It was really funny. I was laughing half the time because I mean, what else was there to do?

The show's sypnosis was basically this: Brad basically compared me to diahrea and constipation. When I was liking Jill, I was all constipated (closed off, sad), and when I wasn't, I was diahrea (all out crazyness and wildness). After that, Joe ate some Teddy Grahams with just his mouth, I destroyed the hotel room, and so much more.

The night ended with Liz Araujo calling Craig and Tomas. I took the other line and started listening and put in my two cents. It wasn't that entertaining because I was still sad about Jill, but it was a way to get rid of thinking about it.

I went to sleep at 4, three hours before we had to get up, for three nights in a row.

Mr. HP Dies

Mr. HP and TW were already in a huge slump with no updates to GD because of my new room which was being finished while I was in San Antonio. What happened on the Monday we got back was diasterous to TW and for everyone as well. Mr. HP was going to die.

In San Marcos, TW travelled around with Mr. Sony filming everything. There was even a Go Digital for April 29, 2002, but it was never put on the site. After traveling to various stores, Old Navy Outlet showed the fate of TW and Go Digital, and it wasn't good.

After the Band Video was shot, and after I was shooting the San Antonio adventures, Mr. HP was in my hand, refrained from taking pictures inside of Old Navy. Jill bought a Dr. Pepper before hand somewhere. She was going to pay for some shit she bought, and when she handed me the Dr. Pepper, Mr. HP slipped out of my hand, for the first time ever, and fell on the floor. The floor was total cement. It wasn't even like ceramic tile.

When I picked the camera up, I heard stuff inside moving. Not good. I turned it on. It was going crazy. I tried taking pictures but Mr. HP was dying. I called my mom and told her the bad news. We had a warranty.

For the rest of the trip, I was sad. Mr. Sony filmed but Mr. HP was dead. TW was again without a camera. It was saddening. Not only that, Joe was all over Jill, which haunted me the entire ride home. I was counting the mile markers, that's how bored I was.

World War III

With tensions already high with the Band Video, almost everyone hating Jill, except me, and sometimes not Jenna, Joe loving both Silva twins all of a sudden, and Jared's birthday on Friday, it seemed inevitable that a war was about to break out. Jill sat next to me at our TAAS ceremony, and then moved because she didn't want me to think she liked me. We then started fighting about that too.

On Friday, May 3, Jared's birthday and Spiderman's ultimate release, we took Jill home. Oddly, Jill came back with me to my house with Joe because she didn;t have a key. I was in my room, trying to make Slackware work on my gay computers, but they weren't working too well. Joe then offered to bring Jill home, and promised he'd be back in 10 minutes.

45 minutes later, Nick came over, and Joe still wasn't here. I was so pissed off. Everyone in the fucking world knew what was happening and I was so pissed off becasue I knew what was happening. When Joe came by, I started yelling at him from the front seat of Nick's van on Main Street, telling him he "wasn't playing cards," his stupid ass excuse that he used, for 45 minutes.

We were late to Spiderman. My mom got the tickets like two days in advance. Joe, Jenna, and Jared had to watch Life, or something like it, while Nick and I were stuck on the first row in our disgusting movie theatre. It wasn't too pleasurable.

The next day, we had the Cinco De Mayo parade. It was then when I told Jill that Jared, Jenna, Joe and I didn't want her to come to Spiderman. World War III began.

The gayest thing, I thought, about World War III, is that Joe joined Cassie and Jill's defense because he wanted to do both of them, and Jenna, Jared and I were on the Allies. We tried to fix things but it wouldn't work. I was even attacked with my own comedy.

World War III slowly deminished that week. Joe and I started talking again, although I still knew May 3 was full of total shit, and Jenna and Jill started talking again, but other than that, it was still war.

The day before Band Banquet, Jill, Cassie, me, and someone else I think, Joe maybe, signed a peace treaty with everyone, and we decided to become a security force for Jared going with Aly to Band Banquet, because Jenna was going out of town. No one really thought this idea was too great, besides Jared, who just wanted a date.

Band Banquet

What turned out to be a Matt and Sheridan reunion turned into me declaring war on Sheridan once again. That day, we were having some sexual fun fuckfest style, but what happened was, I didn't have a camera. No pictures were taken. It was a funny day. Andrew, Ryan Settle, Tommy, Nick, and I think Kelly were the corporates involved. We picked up Sheridan and brought her to Baytown.

What was supposed to be a fun night turned into something of a "I dumped Sheridan because she's a bitch" in my point of view. Although as of right now, Sheridan and I are good friends, back in the day, it wasn't like that. We fought constantly.

I dropped her off at Nikki's (Melissa Pence, Whicked Angel) house so she could do Nikki's hair. I told her I was going to get her at 5:30. I got there at that time and she wasn't ready. I was like, WTF? Well, we left her. I said I was going to come back at 6:15 but I never did because Nikki's house was far out of the way. I decided that Beachy, Nikki's date, could take her to Band Banquet.

When I got there, Sheridan didn't come to me, and I didn't come to her. I just casually went up to her at the end, took my tie off, and said I was going. And, well, I left.

So, basically, in one huge sum-it-all-up, I lost Sheridan, I lost Jill, and now, I was with Aly and Jared in Aly's pool with Joe and Cheryl, who Jill hates. The night ended. I went home, went to sleep, and it was all over.

The Drum Major

Of all things in the world, I loved band. I loved band a whole lot. In the next week, what happened with the band would change many things to this day haven't been fixed. One of those is that the now "Storage Room 1" which was the old "Low Woodwind Room" is still being lit by a light that is plugged into a wall, and the other, the biggest other, the entire band talked about the Head Drum Major Conspiracy for about three to four months after she left Baytown altogether.

I can't remember exact dates, but I know how they happened. On Wednesday or so, we (Brad and Joe) threw Issac Ibarra's Geography book on top of the ceiling tiles in the Low Woodwind Room. That day, when Issac couldn't find his book, he declared war on me, and threw my History book as well on top of the ceiling tiles.

When I really need my book, 5th period, I went to the band hall and tried to find it. I looked all over the place. It was no where. I didn't even think about looking in the ceiling. Craig, Brad, and Tomas were in the room as well, looking for it.

What happened next still makes me laugh, and still mystifies me beyond anything.

Issac was so insanely persistent to get his damn book, he decided to declare war and find the book himself. When he tried to look for the book by pulling down on the ceiling tiles, the lighting fixture became extremely loose. I was at the North end of the room, and Issac was right in the middle, trying to get the book out.

And, that's when I saw it. Issac and the lighting fixture came tumbling down, almost hitting Craig, and mass sparks flew all over the place, and then, there was no light.

I wasn't laughing too hard. I was in so much shock. My room, the room in which started so many friendships and was the center of my band life, was being destroyed by some fat Mexican fucker who wanted his damn book back. Did he get his book back then? No. We just had a fucking light hanging from the ceiling.

I gave up and went back to Mrs. Hunt's room, laughing. I told everyone in class the story. Mostly everyone was laughing. Then, Craig and Brad come to the room with my book. When I asked them what was the sypnosis of everything, the response was very rough: Everything was still off.

During lunch, I left Jill and Joe and ran to the band hall, becoming an electrician and engineer at the same time, trying to figure out how to hold the lighting fixture to where the room still gave light. Since there was no light, it was going to be hard to try to get the wires back into the fixture itself. With the help of Tomas, we got the fixture set up and the light working. Instead of putting the fixture in vertical to where it was an exact fit, we put it in horizontal, and let the rails of the ceiling hold on to it. It was actually a really good idea on my part. There wasn't as much light as before, but it definitely helped.

After school, I found Issac's book, threw it on the floor, and grunted loudly, with the laughing approval of Jenna and Jill. It was one of the most funniest days in TW history, and poor Mr. HP missed it all.

While all this was going on, the lighting fixture incident was one of the first new columns in a very long time on TW. The entire slump without the camera hurt badly, and it just ruined many things.

May 16, the opening day of Star Wars, was coming in fast. The day of the lighting fixture incident, I told Liz, the drum major, I had a crush on her. Of course, I knew nothing was going to happen because I was a sophomore and she was a senior, but I gave it a try.

On May 17, the Friday Star Wars came out, I took the chair inside the newly lit Low Woodwind room and had roller coaster rides for both Liz and Jill. They weren't really roller coaster rides but you know what I mean.

After Star Wars finished, which was basically an insult to my intelligance because it wasn't really that good, I got home and started talking to Liz online, which erupted into a 4 hour long phone conversation that ended at 4:30. Things were definitely changing for me.

The next day, Nick, me, Tommy, Jenna, and Jared joined us in our first Galveston fuckfest (that wasn't). I decided it'd be nice to buy Liz a graduation present, just to show how she was pretty cool. I decided Buildabear, the same present I gave Sheridan, would do pretty well.

After several good days, and Nick's dumb ass waving the German flag in front of a Jewish synagogue, Monday came, the day the Low Woodwind room because what everyone thinks is the greatest irony - A Warzone.

Adam Collins, Sharon Craig, and Marianne Sanchez were declared "Drum Majors."

On Wednesday, a mandantory Graduation pratice involving all the field officers plus the freshman class of 2006 band members was coming faster then we knew it. Graduation was coming. We were almost Juniors.

Because of the Graduation Practice, Brad and I needed to inspect old bass clarinets to try and get the freshman to use. We had three incoming freshman, and not enough horns. The only horns not being used were on top of our cabinet, right belong the newly made ceiling with the vertical light.

When we tried moving the horns on Monday morning, chaos begun. The horns were holding up half the fucking ceiling. When we took them down, the lighting fixture came down as well. This was incredibly bad, because now, we didn't even have a way to put the fixture at all. We looked at other ceiling tiles, but nothing looked good.

We got the light working finally and decided to put it inside of Joe's slot. The light barely lit up the room. Mr.Clem came in, and we basically surrendered. He actually laughed and we just left.

The next day, Liz, Jenna, Jared, and I decided to have a burning fest with all the TAAS books Mrs. Harris didn't need. We destroyed everything. It was so great. The ash is probably still all over in the spot we did it in.

It's all over

Probably the low-light of my life but also one of the many highlights is actually something not many people can say has happened to them before.

On Thursday, I went to Clear Lake to buy Nomono, Liz's new bear. It was wearing a graduation gown and underneath it had an A&M shirt. It was really awesome, well for a girl to have at least. Anyway, the next day, I gave it to her, and she was totally shocked and surprised.

That afternoon, I created a set of guidelines that were humorous, vulgar, but they were descriptive enough to be read well. I printed them out. At Graduation, I saw Liz at the door, talked to her for a second and should have got her opinion on those guidelines, because she might have talked me out of passing them out.

On the field, I passed the papers out. About 20 minutes later, Mr. Clem found them, took them all up, and decided to read them himself. That was bad news. The ceremony was like 20 minutes in, when suddenly, he comes from behind me, and kicks me off the field, and tells me to go home.

I looked around at all my band friends and felt so stupid. I was smiling, however. I walked off the field with some other guy as Kaci was being dedicated. I stopped during the moment of silence, and continued on. After that, I tried getting in the stands, where I filmed Liz getting her diploma, or whatever the hell that fake thing is, and I got tired of filming from that position.

On the tape, two months later, I realized I got Mr. Clem telling me to go home. It was pretty disgusting. I sat on Jared's car watching the rest of the ceremony. As I walked off to the car, I said into the camera "And that is my life."

I never thought that this could possibly be the end of my entire band career at Sterling. I just continued on with life as anyone would normally do. I went over to Liz's house after Graduation and met like, every single member I'd ever want to meet of Liz's family, and then Jared and Jenna took us over to my house where I introduced Liz to The Band Video, which is now good enough to be italicized.

When I told my mom what happened, she couldn't believe it. She was really worried that my band career would be over as well. I didn't worry about it. Summer started. It was time to have some fun.

And it was fun.