What's on My Mind

OH GOD!!!

March 16, 2004

OH GOD!! It's been a long time, but there's really not much I can do for an update everyone! I assumed the role of All School Duke yesterday morning when I walked into school, the first day I've been in school after my win AND the first day knowing that sitting outside of a fucking prison house. ISS, that's fucking right. Three days of miserable bullshit.

Spring Break was miraculous, and I'll have a detail of each day in a minute.

It's fucking miraculous that TW's hits haven't slumped down to the lowest in months. We passed 109,000 today for the month of March, and we're halfway done, and the Hot Dude Contest hasn't started yet. Hopefully that will bring in more hits, so we can have a very positive looking March. And in April, hopefully Mr. Canon will be back, The Masticators will be in full blow, and the Kitty Show will be taping.

P.S. Some people are still asking about the Hot Dude Contest. What the fuck do you think March 19 means? Yes, we're back on schedule! Some pages might say otherwise, but I'll say right now that March 19 means March 19, whether I have pictures or not.

Spring Break
Saturday

The notorious Pajama Party, Version 2, was held at Jeremy's household. The night was extremely eventful, featuring lots of incidents that almost broke the ties of the party in half.

During the day, I held out with Grand Dragon William 'Billy Nigger' Brooks to Baybrook to buy a hat for him. Lids in Baybrook is other wise known as the fucking shithole of the world, and Billy can't find a hat that fits him.

Not much convincing took when I asked him if I could buy a penguin for one of my freshman friends who was going out on a cruise that week. Turns out, I still have the fucking DRAGON, yes, DRAGON, because Toys R Us seems to just fucking hate penguins in general. So, I still have the fucking Dragon, and this entire trip is a waste of fucking time but Billy is an incredible human being, so it doesn't matter anyway.

The Pajama Party started off very good. When Kitty arrived however, trouble started to brew. About thirty minutes after she arrived, her dad told her she had to go home immediately. About an hour after she left, some woman called the house, demanding to know where she was. When I told her she was at home, she didn't believe me.

It was then thirty minutes later, Mr. Garrett and his girlfriend come home, surprising us all, and the SAME WOMAN on the phone storms in the house, and starts checking all the bedrooms for Kitty!

Everyone is just shocked and still. This isn't the first time this has happened. In December, Natalie Wilson and Ashley Medows's moms stormed the Garrett household, and felt like fucking IDIOTS when they got out of there, after accusing the entire group inside that we were all being charged with stauatory rape, when all Jeremy did was protect them.

Jeremy Garrett is a Demi-God.

And Brad Wilson, is a guru.

After she leaves, everyone is asking what happened, and I tell them, but for some reason, everything thinks i'm some kind of half wit kid or something,(IF ANYONE CAN GUESS WHERE THIS ALLUSION IS FROM I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL!!) and everyone awaits to hear Jeremy's word on the situation. It turned out to be one of Kitty's friend's mother, who was checking up on Kitty. Fucking IDIOT.

Parents need to stay the fuck out of other people's houses and worry about what their kids do on their own fucking time. Everyone is so worried these days about kids being in major trouble when the chances of a kid being in trouble on the streets these days are so fucking low. Just chill the fuck out and buy a fucking dildo. Men too.

Sunday

After watching The Big Lebowski with Bill, we go over to Aaron's Bowling Benefit at the Bowling Alley. The pizza and drinks were fucking eaten in seconds as everyone ran to them. By 11:00, anyone who hadn't already shown up was pretty much out of luck for everything BUT unlimited bowling. And by 1:15, this got very boring.

At 1:20 in the morning, a major group of people leave, and this major group heads to Waffle House on I-10 and Garth. These people include me, Ayla, Walter, Trey, Kelly, Tommy, and Bill. When we get there, we are seated, and nobody comes to serve us. NOBODY.

About twenty minutes later, and about nineteen minutes into my complaining, the waitress comes up to us and asks us for our drinks. Ten minutes later when we didn't get them, we decided to leave.

Everyone's pissed, MOSTLY me, since I dont' care what fucking color someone is, black, white, green, pink, tan, purple headed, if I walk into a restaurant, I expect fucking service, especially when its not even that full!

So everyone is still in a Waffle House mood, so we all travel to the one on 146, but Trey decides to take the longest way in the fucking galaxy. We ended up somewhere in Maine by the time he finished driving. There were ice on my fucking balls I was pricking off.

At this Waffle House, we got pretty good service, and I settled down. Everyone was wondering what we could possibly do, and many ideas came out on the table. San Antonio was one, New York was mine, (LOL), and then someone mentioned the Light Rail in Houston.

My face lighted up with joy and orgasmic feeling.

At 3:45 in the morning, we traveled to Midtown to ride the light rail. We were the first ones on the 4:32 train out of Fannin, and we rode the train all the way to its last stop, completing my sick fantasy of being in love with public transportation and completing my light rail journey.

After a relaxing trip down Buffalo Bayou, we walk around the theatre district in Houston. Bill and I are being adventerous, and we wanted to go down into the tunnels. Kelly, Tommy, and Trey venture off to try and find a fast food restaurant. Bill and I, however, run through the tunnels, jumping for joy, fucking random homeless women with large breasts, and shooting lines of Smarties off large pipes. JUST KIDDIN! We get to street level and Bill and I just decide to walk under I-45, around a police station, back again under I-45, adjacent to the Aquarium, adjacent to the Verizon Wireless Theatre, adjacent to the Bayou Place, and then back to Lousiana where we met Kelly, Tommy, and Trey. I had to piss horribly, so Bill and I ran to Jason's Deli about seven minutes before we take the Light Rail back to Fannin.

We end up back in Baytown at around 8:15, and we all fall asleep for the remainder of the day.

Monday

A very non-adventerous day turns into fun when I hang out with Courtney Thoulstrup, Roni Johnson, Jared Parker, Bill, and myself. After that, a trip to Jeremy's with Jared coming back several times is in place.

That night, Jonathan and Jeremy were talking, and Jonathan suggested that a big BBQ party should be the next day at Jeremy's household. Jeremy agrees, but doesn't remember the next day. And that leads to Tuesday.

Tuesday

Bill, being the adventurer he is, decided to lead us into a journey to several foresty areas near Stallworth Stadium. Coming with us is Sean Latif, a good friend of both of ours, and a best friend almost brother to Nick Lloyd, who lives one house down from Jeremy.

After a good three hours of walking in the heat, Bill, Sean and I give up, and we walk around Justin Holt's neighborhood near the stadium for about another fourty-five minutes. With no proper working phone and ride, we had no idea what to do. Finally, I text messaged Walter on my badly damaged phone, and he replied to our frantic call for help.

Walter, Ayla, and Rachel Palomerez came to our rescue, and we went to Sean's house, dropped Sean and Bill off, then picked up Tommy and Kendall at my house. I was fucking tired and ready to go back to sleep, but I decided to stick it out with Walter and the gang.

At around 7:00, word comes around that Jeremy is having a BBQ at his house. I'm fucking surprised, considering Jeremy didn't say a word about it to us when he brought us to the "Neighborhood near Stallworth."

Jeremy totally denies accusations that he set up this party, and I call Jonathan, and its off. An hour later, its back on again, after Jonathan explains to Jeremy what happened. What I thought was going to be a small BBQ dinner turned into a full blown party at Jeremy's house, almost rivaling the size and magnitude of the Second Pajama Party we had on Saturday.

The Spring Break was turning out beautifully, and I couldn't wait for it to continue. Sadly, I was terribly disappointed at the next day.

Wednesday

German Chocolate Cake with Coconut Frosting was the recipe at Jeremy's this nice afternoon, as Walter and I help him with ingridients and give him company as he bakes the cake. When he had to make few phone calls, Walter and I decided we were hungry, and we went to WalMart to buy some Macaroni and Cheese.

After we eat, we head over to JoAnn's house, where we discuss, (with Kat, Kitty, and Jen) the makings of the Kitty Show. Everyone agrees we need to go on with it as soon as possible. I declare that the current week would be bad, and that next week (this current week) would be perfect. More news on that in a minute.

It was a fun evening, and the girls were looking magnificant as usual. (And if I EVER change my fucking mind about The Warzone, these girls WILL ALL be in the Hot Babe Contest next year). The Kitty Show turned out to be a big fucking topic at JoAnn's, so I was ready to show many people what it was made of.

After JoAnn's, my father kills Walter with amazing food, and then Walter and I boredly sit at my house and do absolutely nothing. Then Walter leaves, and I do absolutely nothing.

I was so fucking bored, that I just went to sleep.

Thursday

On one of the most memorable days in Honda Hills ever, we decided for one more invasion probably altogether before we graduate. The day didn't start there however, but way earlier.

At 4:00, Jeremy takes Bill to Roosters for the first time ever, and I tag along. Then, he buys Taqueria for me, and I died. Twice.

At around 6:00, Bill and I are surprised: Mark comes home much sooner than expected, and we are EXTREMELY glad to see him. We've missed the fuck out of him.

At around 9:00, we still haven't done anything, and we're outside in street. Pretty soon, a large group assembles, and it is comprised of Jonathan, me, Julian, Adrian, Bill, and Mark. Mostly, it was almost the entire Briarcreek Gang, minus Jonathan. Chad, a former Briarcreek member, was in New York.

At around 9:30, Mark showed us a new house across Main Street at Meredian Estates that he'd probably be moving in to. It looked fucking awesome. Its so sad though that he might be leaving Briarcreek, the first since Chad and Steve McRenyolds left before their 6th Grade years.

At night, various funny things happened that involve some mentioning. Probably Mark playing licks with almost everyone besides me and Jonathan was fucking amazing. Adrian yelled so loud that I thought God saw Billy burning a bible.

The later part of the night however, was the best. We assembled as a team, with firewood and gasoline. A trip to Honda Hills it was.

We go through two different tee-pees of wood, and gasoline, and hilarious fucking jokes. And, I have them ready for all of you to share:

MATT. Dude, what if you showed up to your house and Jonathan scheduled an All-Nude Party while you were drunk?
JEREMY. As long as there are eight naked girls, then that'd be fine. MATT. And they all had [random beautiful bodied freshman girl's] body.
JONATHAN. Matt, you're a fucking pedophile
ALL. Ummmm....Jonathan shut up, I wouldn't mind seeing her naked.
JEREMY. She's got a great body.
ALL. Yeah!
KELLY. Yeah Jonathan, when she comes and takes off her clothes for us, you can go in the other room.
JONATHAN. FINE!

BILL. Man, that game is awesome, I bet you were playing it on the bus.
MARK. Yeah, it's so fucking loud, people were looking at me.
JONATHAN. But doesn't it have a volume setting?
MARK. Well, yeah...

ANDREW. OH FUCK! (as he falls off tree)

ANDREW. HOLY SHIT GUYS!
MATT. What??
ANDREW. BILL JUST FELL INTO THIS SMALL DRAINAGE THING AND DID A TOTAL 180 AND LANDED ON HIS BACK!!
EVERYONE. LOLOLOL!

JEREMY. Bill, you shouldn't be so close to the fire.
BILL. Ah, I don't care if I burn alive.
JEREMY. BUT I FUCKING DO ASSHOLE!!!

And a trip to Whataburger it is, as Mark spills a drink ALL OVER my pants. But I still love him.

And the day ends.

Friday

Highly anticipated to be one of the best Spring Break Holiday Weekend Ever, CalmType decides it is time to share the wealth at his house for the weekend. It turns out to be a bar-brawl fantastic adventure.

I woke up sort of early, pissed that I had a theatre clinic. After arriving at school thanks to Chad, we load the U-Haul, board the bus, and wait for Brian and Andrew to get back from Jack In the Box. After spending twenty minutes in the notrious Jack in the Box line, they come back, and we yellow dog our way to Pasadena.

Before the show, it is extremely fucking boring every where in San Jacinto Community College, a sorry fucking excuse for a campus if anything. God Damn, if you're gonna go to that shit, just go to Lee College where you don't have to drive far and its a much better fucking place anyway. Drama people excluded.

JoAnn and I hung out all day, even during the play. The critique we recieved was absolute fucking bullshit, considering the tech guy was a fucking faggot anyway (he seriously was). Oh, and you can all call me a fucking homophobe cause I don't care, I'm an asshole - (the day of my Grandmother's funeral, my cousin and I got in a large argument over flamboyant people, and I decided that I hate flamboyant people, SO FUCKING MUCH). Anyway, then, the San Jacinto Theatre Director goes up, and he gives very good pointers, but then he says....

"Well, the cutting of this play didn't make much sense." And I'm just sitting there like, "Ok, why the fuck are we still here? Why the fuck am I not drunk? Why the fuck are we listening to this? YOU JUST TOLD US OUR FUCKING PLAY SUCKS!"

That reminds me. Today, Parker announced if anyone says a bad word on stage during contest, whether during the play or taking off the set, we're all disqualified. Put tape over my fucking mouth then.

So we're going home, Trent, Emily, and Brian are mooning people out on the road, and then Malik Nelson, oh Christ...LOLOLOL, he...yes, he did the same. He did the fucking same. Praise God for having such a wonderful child. Praise God for George W. Bush as well. BTW, always wondered what the W stood for? Wanker. Wussy. Wigger. Gook. Bitch. Asshole. Cunt. Dick. SORRY! I went a little bit overboard.

After we get back to school, we go to JoAnn's house, where right after, we went to Andrew's party.

Andrew's party was incredible in so many ways. There's several different factors to why it was incredible. First off, we go out to buy Walter some tobacco, and his fucking brakes aren't working, and then he slams them on going 60 on Massey Tompkins. Jesus Christ.

Then back at Andrew's, Trent Coots makes a beautiful entrance and joins the party. He had a great time, and he also helped TW out a bit. He made two videos for us to share, and they are fucking incredible.

The first one: The Legendary Five Count between Andrew and I. If you haven't seen us do this yet, you don't know us. We have a handshake attitude. (YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SAY FUCK HUH? YOU FUCKIN PRICK!)

The next is something not famous, but something that will be once we put it on the internet. And since it is, get ready. This is called "Gigi's Demise" and we will all laugh for the rest of our lives after watching this video.

Ok, you laughed, I know you fucking did. And if you like cats, fuck you, its not that big of a deal.

The night was incredible, and it finished with C&D's in the morning, and Mr. Jeremy Daniel Garrett commiting treason on his own fucking behalf. LOLOLOL.

The day ends, and we all go to sleep. Beautiful. Fucking beautiful. Excellent party, my friend!

Norma Jean

And here it is. We've been waiting for it for a long time, and we went. Norma Jean.

At first, there was a lot of problems. Billy couldn't drive. Brad wasn't going. No one could get a hold of Andrew.

And then, as beautiful as they appear, they came to our rescue. The two funniest girls on the planet, Amber Rhodes and Laura Heinrich, decided to drive us, in Amber's Surburban, to Houston to watch a Hardcore Christian Rock Concert. And, half the people in the automobile don't believe in Jesus Christ.

The concert wasn't too good till Norma Jean, but it was much better than Dillinger. The bands were fun, some bands fucking sucked, and a lot of people got into it. Norma Jean, however, was fucking intense and awesome the whole way through.

And poor Bill Vickers threw up during the middle of "I used to hate cell phones but now I hate car accidents."

The ride home was equally as amazing as the ride up there, and the night ended very late. Norma Jean put on two shows that night for Houston, TX. We love them.

Sunday

And that's the end. There is nothing more to say besides I did fucking nothing today.

Hot Dude Contest

Most of you can obviously see that we have a new ad campaign going on at TW right now. It's called "March 19 with a little bit of Fuck" All of the ads are going to incorporate the word fuck in some way. And, so far, it has been a massive success because everyone has loved all the ads. They have quotes from hardcore bands, quotes from myself, and quotes everyone says.

I decided to push back the Upperclassman to next week because I needed more time to get ready with the Freshman and Sophomores. So far, I'm doing a medicore job, but I have to step it up the next couple of days or else we're not going to have a full picture database.

The only thing I'm worried about is getting half the pictures done. When this happens, the people without pictures are at an extreme disadvantage due to the number of non-classmates they have that vote for them. During the Sophomore Hot Dude Contest, they will have over 80% unique hits to that page, due to the Sophomore Class being extremely unfamiliar with TW and its ethics.

I'm very excited for the contest, and I'm going to be very much exhausted this week creating all the pages for everything. I'm trying to spit-shine TW every way I can. You can expect a massive Archives update sometime this week. I'm trying to do the best I can to attract new visitors, and I'll need your help to do so. Some 7th grade girls have even put TW in their profile, telling people to get ready to vote. That's amazing. JUNIOR HIGH SUPPORT!

THE MAIN THEME FOR THE HOT DUDE CONTEST IS ROSE PETAL TRAIL BY THE HORRID AFFAIR!!!!

Other than that guys, this is all I have to say. The lack of updating will cease once everything gets going. I apologize for the slowness, but you can't blame me. We are without many cameras.

The Kitty Show, although it says March 11, she will talk, has not been filmed yet, but we're making significant progress. I'll have small preview clips tomorrow. LOL.

Have a great week even though this week fucking sucks balls cause Spring Break was so amazing! Oh yeah, and fuck you too!

HIT COUNT!

FUCK: AN INCREDIBLE 67 TIMES!
Jeremy: 21 Times
Kitty: 9 Times
SHIT: 5 Times
ASS: 3 Times
Rachel: 0 Times

-Duke-

www.intothemoat.com. HARDCORE AT ITS FUCKING BEST.