First off, I would like to thanks Blake Moyer for being the absolute greatest person in the entire world. Thanks. Not only is he pretty and stuff, he successfully only missed one problem on the Math portion of the Practice SAT test. Although he deserves being jumped and hit in the balls with a sledgehammer for being so smart, I love him for being such a smarter person than I am. Out of topic, Rachel Barajas is the complete opposite of Blake and is a big piece of donkey shit. Thank You.
As a very liberal democrat from the great state of New York, please don't hate me for being an absolute fanatic. Thanks. I believe Saddam Hussein should be shot and killed and hung from my roof so I can practice my throwing arm for this year's minor league draft for the Yankees. Because of my eratic pitching, however, I might accidently bruise him in places such as the groin, head, arms, legs, and asshole. I might clip off a toenail once or twice.
The people of Iraq? They're nice and stuff. They don't need to die. Do I like them? Not really. Do I want to be their friend? Heavens no. Do they want to be my friend? Of course, I'm sexy and smart, yet I can't make over a 500 in my SAT Verbal because all I know how to say is FUCK SHIT GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH. Do I want to learn better vocabulary skills? Who the hell am I, Mark Fiecas? Of course not. (Mark Fiecas is this smart ass bastard who is number 1 in our class yet he's a sophomore and he's absolutely disgusting because he thinks he's Jesus Cheist Superstar)
Before all of the four people who hate me start saying I'm a hypocrite for calling the Iraqi people nice but I don't like them, let me just say you're all fucking bitches, this is my website, I can do what I want, I can do what I want, and more people hate you than like TW, and that's a shitload of people. Excuse me for being overly conceited and totally in love with myself, but I'm finally happy, and to all my friends who have seen me depressed in the last oh, year, I'm finally back walking without a damn wheelchair of support.
So this is what needs to happen. 1) Saddam Hussein needs to become my baseball backstop and die of course; 2) ALL WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION NEED TO BE SHOVED UP NORTH KOREAS ASS AND CERTAIN PORTLY DISGUSTING OBNOXIOUS SOUTH KOREAN ASSHOLES WHO THINK THEY'RE FUNNY AND COOL.; 3) Oil in Iraq needs to go to the people but give us some oil too because Jenna pays $1.60 for gas and she brings me to school and I HAVE TO PAY $5 AND SHIT AND I FUCKING HATE IT CAUSE IT'S TOO MUCH MONEY!!!
A rough translation for San Jose up above, Matthew James Impelluso III from Brooklyn, NY will be one of the leaders of American high school students for the National Youth Leadership Forum on Technology. YAYAYAYAY!!
So anyway, during the summer, I go to San Jose and stay in this nice hotel and talk with a bunch of tech nerds which I'll probably know more than anyway because most of them will be absolute idiots and not know anything about computers in the first place.
There's only a couple of problems with this situation. 1) I'm absolutely poor; 2) I'm so very poor; 3) I'm so poor I can hardly feed myself and stay alive. Because of scholarships however and the fact that I'm good at convincing people, I'm going around Baytown starting this weekend to get sponsers because they love smart people. I'll probably be successful. Hopefully Target loves me cause I want money from the store that has given TW four huge blowout fuckfests and because of Target I met Tommy and became better friends with Kelly so shit, what a great oppurtunity.
The forum costs $2350 with airfare. That's a lot of money, Almost as much for an Apple G4 that Jeff, Nick, and I want so very badly. Hopefully through scholarships and sponserships you're president of the best web-site ever made for high school students will succeed and visit many high-tech guys. This will be at the end of July and the beginning of August for ten days.
If you're not poor and you have more than a penny you're willing to donate, I'll appreciate it greatly. Yeah right, you guys are all cheap, but not as cheap and Jewish as I am. Believe me if I was reading this and saw donations here for a friend I wouldn't give him shit cause that's how I am so don't give me anything cause I'm a horrible person and I think I'm the anti-christ but just kidding that's Osama.
Back to Hell
No it's not a scary movie action flick, it's school! OH GOD! Today I had a free response in English. "This made our happyness level go down the drain" (Matt Impelluso, Governor and Father). It was so saddening. I was so sad. But, then, everything was ok, cause I realized that we only have 8 Monday's left. You know, I just realized something. Tim's right. Why the fuck do people say 8 Monday's left? Just say fucking 11 weeeks! I mean, do we only go to school on Monday? No mother fuckers, we go to school every day of the week, except for certain days like all of us skipping TAKS cause we hate the government.
Speaking of hating the government, I was stopped not wearing my ID badge today, and I didn't get in trouble. Maybe it's cause of my severe good looks, but just kidding, I'm uglier than your mom on her bad day with total exception to Chad's. (LOLOL). I think the school system is corrupt anyway. I was yelling down the breezeway and Mr. Taylor told me about cheerleading tryouts next month. Yep, I should definitely try-out for cheerleader. That'd be the absolutely most paradoxical thing I could ever do, even though I do like cheerleaders, I just hate what they stand for because we don't have any good sports teams. Well, the exception to Chess and stuff. Wait, do we even have a chess team? Shit.
Oh so today in school, a new slogan to get people to join CSU is "Preparing for war in Iraq." Man, give up, Christian Student Union before I go to ACLU and make up the Atheists Supporting Socialism (ASS) group for Sterling to have. Of course, only about ten people will be in the club, but how cool would it be to put on a college application, "I WAS PRESIDENT OF THE ASS CLUB." LOLOLOL, man, sounds like something Shelby Swint or Jill Silva would be in but please don't tell them I told you that. ;) Man, speaking of people who possess the greatest ass in the world, much unlike them, Rachel's a hermaphrodite.
Christian Student Union makes me SADD. LOLOLOLOLOLOL...oh that was the stupidest thing I'VE EVER SAID AND IF YOU DON'T GO TO STERLING JUST LAUGH ANYWAY.
"I think I know the answer Mr. Garrison!" - Kyle
"(Mimicks Kyle)" - Cartman
"SHUT UP FAT BOY!" - Kyle
"HEY, DON'T CALL ME A FAGGOT YA FUCKIN JEW!" - Cartman
"Eeeeric, did you just say the 'F' word?" - Mr. Garrison
"No, he's talking about fuck. You can't say fuck in school you fucking fat ass" - Kyle
"KYLE!" - Mr. Garrison
"Why the fuck not?" - Cartman
"ERIC!" - Mr. Garrison
"Dude, you just said fuck again" - Stan
"STANLEY!" - Mr. Garrison
"(inaudible)" - Kenny
"KENNY!" - Mr. Garrison
"What's the big deal it doens't hurt anybody! Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck" - Cartman
"How would you like to see the school consular?" - Mr. Garrison
"How would you like to SUCK MY BALLS?" - Cartman
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" - Mr. Garrison
"Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what I said was (gets out microphone) "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS...MR. GARRISON?" - Cartman
"Holy shit dude" - Stan
FUCK = 20 TIMES
SHIT = 9 TIMES
ASS = 9 TIMES
DAMN = 2 TIMES
BITCH = 2 TIMES
RACHEL = 2 TIMES
-Father Matteo de Nueva York
"Bad temper runs in the family" - My brother
"YOU DAMN RIGHT IT DOES!" - Me