What's on My Mind

TW Banquet

May 26, 2003

And what a fine banquet it was. No one had a problem with it. Everyone enjoyed themselves - everyone loved the food - and most of all, everyone had a good time. No worries. Endless possibilities. And, when Reflecting God came on, we all gathered round to splash water in the pool. I think Spit by Slipknot got the most banging involved, as I witnessed my first ever mosh pit inside a pool.

Lets start from the beginning, and then I'll finish...at the end.

A Party?

My original idea was for all the Masticators to come over on Wednesday, the Wednesday which hasn't passed yet, and the Masticators make hamburgers and hot dogs for everyone.

Well, Tim Brockman thought differently. He openly invited his new house as subject to domination by 25 large individuals. Actually, some were really small, like Rachel. Fucking cock roaches are bigger than her arse. Arse, that's a funny word guys!

Tim's parents said yes on Friday of last week, and the party was on. We turned the party idea into a "banquet" and I was going to supply the food.

The banquet's guests were to be TW employees only, BUT they could bring a date. I had to bend the rules a little, because although some people aren't employees, they were invited anyway. (Jeremy Garrett, Amanda Klaus, Harry Fama [my baby!]) Buying Stuffus

On the one year anniversary of me getting kicked off the football field from band forever, Dottie Reid and I bought materials for our Baked Ziti, Sausage with Onions and Peppers, and New York style Cheesecake at both Kroger and Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart disgusts me so much, but it was ok, cause food was cheap there. That's what my mom thinks: if the food is at a decent price, fuck who goes to the store.

All in all, the most awesome thing Dottie and I bought was 15 entire packages of cream-cheese. We only used 10, and we thought the cream-cheese was too much in the cheesecake! More on that later.

Making Stuffus

A confusing part of making everything was how to do it. The cheesecake recipe called for 9 inch pie pans, yet, not even ONE batch of cheesecake mix would fit in the pan. So, we decided to make our very own square cheesecake, with the TW symbol in strawberries on the top of it. I'm slapping myself for not taking a picture of that.

The Baked Ziti and Sasuasge were awesome dishes. It was quite funny watching me maintain them in Nick's van. Burnham and Nick would tell you that I was all over the back seat, and the pans of food kept coming to the seat I was in FROM the back seat rolling under the seat I was sitting in.

The Party

Once I got to the party, Tim gave his speech, which was incredibly hilarious I might add, and we began eating. Everyone was making out with me. It was great. Then, the cheesecake came out, and that's when everyone really started making out with me. Too bad the only one making out with me was Glynis, but that's totally ok, cause she's all I need. Oh my Jesus Christ of Nazareth I'm making my columns gushy. No I'm not. Rachel's a skinny short roach infested whore.

Then, Jeff had a superb idea - inducting KK and Blake into the Masticators - and it went very smoothly. I then announced how sexy Andrew was and the cheers just got louder. Andrew was our official DJ for the party. Love you Andrew. Anyway, I also announced to everyone that Steve was graduating this week, and cheers went up. We then all yelled "SEX" on a count of three because I told everyone at the party through the mic that Steve was gonna have a lot of it.

The party overall was really fun. Watching everyone play chicken was extremely fun to. Check out those pictures on Go Digital.

Ok, I know this question has NOTHING to do with the party at all, but ok. I know I'm an extremely straight boy - but, WHY DO PEOPLE THINK ANGELINA JOLIE IS HOT? I MEAN GRANTED, SHE'S NOT UGLY OR ANYTHING, BUT ANGELINA JOLIE IS DEFINITELY NOT HOT AT ALL. THANKS. Anyone who disagrees can kiss my fuckin hairy ass, because I'm sick of everyone wanting to do Angelina Jolie when there's so many hotter actresses, like AJ Cook from Final Destination 2 or Kelly Kincl in "Touchin Matt's Butt in the Summertime."

Ok, back on topic, there's really not much more to say besides the cops came in and busted our ass and we all went to jail for countless hours in the night but just kidding. At 10:30, the stupid fuckin police have to come, those damn pricks, to tell us that our music was too loud. It was then we all decided the party was time for a close anyway, so everyone got their stuff together and we were all out of there by 10:50.

Cops/WOMM/Thanks

On that topic, I want to say anyone who calls the cops for anything they could handle themselves are fucking cock roach pussy eating bastards. Yes, COCK-ROACH PUSSY. I remember distinictivly one night, my father had the music really loud, and he was even pounding on the fence outside, trying to get some nails in it because it was badly damaged. My next door neighbor came by and asked very politely if we could lower the music and stop the banging because his wife had a headache. Nice. Simple. My father didn't have a problem with it.

These days, if anyone is speaking louder than the sound of a pin-drop, the cops are called in and everyone dies. Actually, its only in conservative rich prep areas where people don't have the balls to come over and ask politely to turn the music down, which we would of. Why waste the damn policeman's time (even though he was probably jerkin himself off in the car while driving around Baytown, wasting tax payers money on gas) and make them come to a house where innocent kids doing nothing wrong, WHO DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE MUSIC LOUD IN THE FIRST PLACE TO WHERE IT BOTHERED PEOPLE, when you can come and be a man yourself and do that? Yeah, sons of bitches.

And another thing, its Memorial Day Weekend. Who hasn't heard of a big party on Memorial Day? Maybe a fuckin zombie cause he doesn't know what the hell's going on - but everyone has parties on Memorial Day Weekend! So screw anyone trying to ruin the fun for us cause we were having a damn good time.

One more thing, to anyone just in general trying to pick a fight with this web-site, me, or any of my employees based on our content, or just on hating one of us, is stupid. Get a life. We have one more year left. Stop trying to attack the good people in life and realize this site is here for entertainment. If you're not entertained, I guess all I can say is, Congratulations! You have a different sense of humor (I'm assuming!) Go read a Physics book and laugh at the wonderful equations you have to do! But for the people that enjoy this site, your opinions won't phase them. They don't agree what you think. If they did, they'd be on your side.

In conclusion, I would like to add the party had not one single person, besides one person who was invited without my consent that absolutely no one knew besides a guest at the party, that was discouraging or brought the party down in any way. Every single person at that party belonged there, and few loved ones were missed. The invitation list shouldn't have been more, it shouldn't have been less. I would like to thank everyone for attending.

In detailed thanks, I would like to thank Tim and Jenna, and their parents for letting us throw the party at their house. I would like to thank my employees and best friends Tommy McMahon, Steve McRenyolds and Terry, Dottie Reid, Ben Pequeno, Calvin McAllister, Jeff Delmonico, KK Adams, Rachel Barajas, Nick Reasoner, Blake Moyer, Brad Wilson, Andrew Masterson, Brian Burnham, Harry Fama, and all employees that couldn't make it for being an employee, and for coming to the party. I would like to thank our guests: Glynis Haifley, Amanda Klaus, Jeremy Garrett, Cheryl Morrill, Ben Burnside, Stephanie Foreman, Megan Camburn, Rebecca Holmes, Sheridan Hobson, and any other person I forgot, I extend my greatest apologies but remember that it's 1:02 in the morning.

The new employees section is coming up. If you would like to preview it, if you click HERE you can get a sneak peak. It will open up in a new window. It's not at all done, it still has major changes and advancements. I only have the intro and one scene done.

Once again, thank you all for attending, and this will happen again. Next year, Tim's parents said they wouldn't mind at all for having the party at the house - so get ready. And this summer, get ready for more parties, and maybe with live bands such as Pneuma and The Broken in which everyone is invited to attend.

I love all of you, I hope everyone does well on the finals they have to take (HAHA FRESHMAN AND SOPHOMORES WHO HAVE TO TAKE ALL ACADEMICS!) and take care.

-Father-

P.S. Please attend graduation! Many of our great friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, titties, and doggies will be graduating this Friday/Saturday! Shoutout to Sharon, Nathan, Joseph, Doug, and anyone else cool from Music Theory who deserves a shoutout for graduationg. Oh, and of course, Steve, who will be graduating, and will be retired an employee in the retired employee section! (With Zack Brackin, Jonathan Beachy, and Tim Stuart (RIP)).