What's on My Mind

Jeremy's Party / The Masticators

August 7, 2003

Ok I got an idea. It could possibly be this - start crying. Now. It's coming. It's closer than I said last time It's so close, that we have almost less than a week. We have only one weekend left. We only have the rest of this week. This is it. This is it.

That's why this column is going to show so much love to Jeremy Garrett and his idea for his Party BBQ that was thrown on August 5. It's also going to show love for yesterday's wonderful start to Season 2 of the Masticators, as we made a big blob of dough with hot dog weinies inside of then. The dough was never quite done. LOL.



"This is going to be the biggest party we've even thrown" says Jeremy in July, speaking of the BBQ that took place on Tuesday, August 5. Automatically, Tommy, Bill, Jeff, me, and anyone else in his house at the time thought of the incredible idea of this...great thing.

Not only was this the biggest party ever thrown, it could probably be matched as one of the best compared to our freshman-sophomore days of us at the fallen Korean house to the Americans, where Jeff used to jump off the top of a two story house into a pool, and where walks to the bridge connecting Jenkins and JC Hollway Parks became a ritual.

True, this wasn't a pool party, and true, Jeremy's house is a third the size of the fallen Korean's, but this party, crammped with people from around 4:30-10:00, was absolutely wonderful and delightful. And, Jeremy is the best fucking cook of the masses I've ever seen, besides professional chefs. He managed to cook pork ribs, chicken legs, fajita meat, some really good potatoes, and pork and beans for all of us to eat in just over an hour.

Anyone not invited just shouldn't have been there honestly - and it worked out perfectly that way. If you weren't invited, you were just probably not friends with Jeremy, or if you were, you're just a douche bag. Wow, I'm using such offensive words!

If you were invited and for some reason didn't attend, you missed a real good treat. And, that treat is Tommy almost dying but sticking a huge chunk of ice cream in his mouth and choking. And from our good friend Logan Boatright, "That is on the top 10 funniest things I've have seen in my life."

Several times, I, and several others, tried to get with Sheridan's extremely hot friend that is from the Chicago area. We all failed however because, well, not only are we little boys, we are also 1500 miles away from her home, AND, she has a boyfriend. Ha, when did that ever stop certain people who cheat on people, remember last column? Wow, so many people liked that one.

All in all, Jeremy's probably exceeded my expectations of one of my best parties, and many others. Mark's sound system was incredible, and the amount of people in such a small house was staggering.

Oh, and Tommy survived and is only in a coma right now.

JUST JOSSLIN YA!!! Thanks to Jeremy and any one who contributed to the party (I have yet to do so cause I'm a fuckin idiot). My complaints begin

So, my brother, who's going to be an 8th grader, is the fucking luckiest person in the world. Well, not the world, that'd be..like, uh, Bill Gates or something for buying DOS, but, what sucks about him is, junior high starts at 8:30!

Don't you think after all this pain and suffering of waking up an hour early, the school district could AT LEAST give us an extra hour of sleep? Maybe you disagree with me if you're a morning person. But look at me: I'M FUCKING NOT. I am the many of you who hate waking up early because: 1) There's too many people like us; 2) We're tired from the night before; 3) Waking up early is for Satan worshippers

And then, we have the people who try to always be against me, and say, "Well Matt, what if you get a job at 6 in the morning to 2 in the afternoon?" And the first thing I'll say is, "I WON'T get a job from 6 in the morning to 2 in the afternoon" and if they say, "What if you have to" I'll say, "Well at least I'm getting paid for waking up early."

Ok, sure I disagree with anyone who says they should get paid to go to school. But please, somebody stop this nonsense saying if I miss a day of school, the district loses thousands of dollars. Now its not the districts fault, its Texas's fault, cause Texas is probably the 2nd worst government-run state in the country, and they take so much pride in their education they'll punish a SCHOOL DISTRICT for ME being sick.

And when the first day of s----l comes next Monday, we'll have to see what happens with our ID badges. I've heard rumors that the ID badges are eight dollars this year. If that's the case, let me start making my paper backups immediately. Because I am not paying a fucking cent more than the trash 5 dollars we have to spend on pieces of plastic that cost 32 cents. And if I did have to pay that much, lets try and not give it to our football team, but an organization that needs the money for good reasons. Our football team has uniforms, it has equipment. They don't need anything else.

I don't really know where the money should go. Maybe they should get a coke machine that doesn't just sell fucking Sprite Remix, which I honestly think is the most disgusting beverage to ever come out of the Coca-Cola company. They put a fucking machine with 8 options - ALL FOR SPRITE REMIX. Why, WHY do you guys like to drink something that tastes like skittles, FOR LUNCH? God, FUCKING VOMIT.

And now that we're talking about that, I heard California, which is definitely the worst govern-state in the United States - is putting a ban on junk food and soft drink production in schools because kids are getting obese. Ok, fine, take it out of elementary schools, and maybe, maybe take it out of junior highs. But I will be pissed beyond anything if they tell me that I'm obese and I can't have a root beer or Vanilla Coke with my chicken strips. It is OUR decision whether we want to eat fattening food, not the governments. This is just another example of the government trying to control the entire fucking world. And hell, if I want to be fat, SO FUCKING BE IT cause I like fattening foods. Hell with that low fat shit, its even worse in carbs, right Tommy? Right.

Speaking of food in schools, they're going to increase the price on everything. Right now, the lunch has been bumped up to $1.75. The other items in the lunch line, the popular ones, the chicken, the pizza, and the mexican line, are probably all going to increase in price too. Just when the economy is dying, we pay more for food. YAY!


Ok, that might be far off, but sometime last week, I just began writing. I wrote, and wrote, and wrote. And, out came 21 pages from my mind of a script about The Warzone. It's the pilot episode!

Kelly, Rachel, Tommy, and others have read the script, and they all love the idea, they love the characters, and they loved the plot I put in the first episode. Let me briefly describe it. It's more of an introduction to everything. I introduce Kelly, Tommy, Jeff, Jeremy, Nick, and myself in the script. The plot is very unique: Kelly, Tommy, and I steal a road-sign, but someone passes by when they steal it, and this person knows me, and they pull something called blackmail. It's awesome.

If you would like to read the script, please IM me and I'll send it to you. IT'S FUNNY AND STUFF! YAY! YAY!!

Anyway, it is time for me to be touching my butt. I know this WOMM wasn't very good, but....the Masticators are. Thank you all for visiting those pages, and thanks for keeping TW in your favorites list.


P.S. Rachel likes to eat dog shit. SORRY. SORRY.