What's on My Mind

I LOVE COW SHIT AND PONIES!

September 2, 2003

TWO WEEKS IT IS. I don't know about you, but the first week was probably the slowest week of my life, and this last week was actually sailing by pretty fast, even considering I had to stay after school for two periods. But that's ok, that's extremely ok, for Billy Brooks is one of the most hilarious people I have ever met. YAY!

Surprise Party

"SURPRISE!!!!!" yells Tommy, into Jeremy's face, as about 17 people are awaiting him for the best birthday party Jeremy has ever had. Originally planned for Saturday night as a party Jeremy was going to throw, we had it a day early, and believe me, it was probably one of the most memorable parties in history. And, I don't think I could even get to the point of how Burnham knows how to party....LOL.

I think basically the entire purpose of Jeremy is to give back for all the wonderful things he has given us, and well, its about damn time we had a celebration in his holy name. It's so funny because Jeremy and I have a lot in common, except he's more hated than I am. But that's ok, because we don't give a fucking rat's asshole.

Anyway, my point is, Brad and I (Brad created the idea, I got the party list, I told a lot of the people, so did Brad) would like to thank ALL OF YOU who came to the party. Also, Tommy and I would like to thank all of you who stood with your word and contributed to the "Jeremy Garrett needs an Xbox for the sitting room Fund" which actually, didn't make the sitting room and is now in the middle of the floor in the living room.

Also, lets thank major contributors Tommy himself and Billy for donating several games to the Xbox fund, and Jesus, for being a fucking religious guy.

Economics and TW

The sub-title looks boring, but its actually going to be full of money, sex, and drugs! YAY! YAY! *Giggles*

First off, I have to say, DAMN THE FUCK OUT OF ALL OF YOU. We got 9954 hits last night, and let me tell you, THAT IS PITIFUL. You know why it's pitiful? I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOUR FUCKING DAYS! PLUS, THIS COLUMN HAS BEEN GOD DAMN DEAD! AND NO ONE HAS BEEN POSTING!

I basically learned several things in the last couple of days. Either consumer demand is becoming more and more popular for the things I say, and what we do, or most of you are turning into bored pieces of carcass. I think it's mostly answer choice B, also known as bratwurst. And this is where economics comes in.

Last night, I wrote the definition to money. Yes. THE MOTHER FUCKING DEFINITION TO MONEY. MONEY. MONEY. MONEY. I decided instead of just writing money out with bold, italics, and underlined diction, that I'd just give it to you in three damn examples. Economics could possibly the most no-brainer class in the entire world.

The book is typically hard to understand, but I mean, seriously, once you learn how the economics of something works, it's so fucking easy to understand. But, alas, here I am, reading the god damn book, and wanting to throw it out the window and yell, "FUCK CAPITALISM, LETS GO BACK TO THE GOD DAMN BARTER SYSTEM!" I realized sexual intercourse is basically the barter system, and prostitution is capitalism. If you don't know what the barter system is, let me just take my foot, place it smack dab on your ass, and kick it with a rough, demening force, and send you out in a puddle of cow shit.

I was speaking to my pony, Falfi, the other day, and he eighty-sixed that other pony out of his fucking stable. Oh, he was a twee fellow, but alas, he had the munchies. This paragraph is obviously dedicated to someone. And, it's not to Rachel. The next one will be dedicated to her.

Bitch. Asshole. Dog shit. Whore monger. Whorebag. Mother. Fucker. POS. Piece of shit. Short. Assholio. Anti-Cool. Prep. Poser. Nigger. Jew. Nazi. Facist. Brian Burnham. Ben Pequeno's athlete's foot.

I'm basically coming to a single point. TW has become everything I hated my freshmen year. Oh my fucking Jesus....no...it can't be... we're not...no....

POPULAR??? *TAKES GUN, SHOOTS SELF IN FACE*

I remembered the days when I hated Abercrombie, whoa, wait, I still do! You know, there's a shitload of people out there who think I hate American Eagle - but I don't. American Eagle has the cheapest shit alive. Their clearance section is like my fucking asshole, nice and warm. I bought a Brooklyn shirt there for 10 bucks. The cheapest shirt I've bought since white polos I had to wear at Sterling - $13 for a rock shirt, ranging up to $18.

I also remembered the days where we blantantly hated popular people, but now, we're seniors, and I mean, unless you're just a fucking absolute nobody, your name has some status. Like, everyone knows Tommy eats tons of cow manure at Lee, and everyone knows I like to stick PVC pipes up my asshole.

TW's reputation now is extremely high in rank as one of the most popular past-times of Sterling, which is incredibly intimidating to me. All of you must know how appreciative I am, but sometimes, none of you make any fucking sense. It's so funny - TW is so good, my enemies come and view it, just making sure I haven't slipped and said something about them.

Why hello enemies, for you have sinned!

My point is, TW has definitely risen back to the glory days of the 2001 semester. I'm so shocked at some things that I only can explain Tim in heaven giving the website link to like everyone and Jesus himself. Oh, and fuck the people who are like, "Oh well it's all over the Tim shirt!" LOL, it's so funny, I just, you know, wanna take a shit all over anyone's face who thinks I'm using Tim as an advertising supplement. Awww, I feel so bad for tards!

*Giggles*

Keep coming guys....it's gonna get so much better. Believe me, senior year - the fucking best.

*sticks PVC pipe up ASS*

Anyway, I think random comments work extremely well on TW, don't you? Well if you don't think so, FUCK OFF! Thanks! :)

The Hot Girl Contest. It's here. The schedule's on the mother fucking top of the page. There's nothing more to say. If you're a judge, you better have your contestants in by the end of the week, or you might as well just call yourself a god damn rapescout.

"Alright, so we're all in agreement, when we get back to school, we all FUCK becky in the ass - unlubricated - FIVE COCKS IN THE FUCKING ASSHOLE at the same time!" - Billy, pertaining to Becky being in the middle of the road and not moving for about 45 seconds. If you would like to see the video of this sound clip, please, IM me. LOLOL.

"GOD DAMN IT, this fucking Coke machine took my money!" - Me
(random guy comes up to Coke machine, buys coke, looks at me, and starts laughing)
(turns to Ben and Tom)
"Find out his name, then fucking kill his family" - Me

myCHEMdiaries: i
myCHEMdiaries: love
myCHEMdiaries: men.

"THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS DIDN'T GIVE OMEED HIS TWO OTHER TACOS!" - me
"LETS FUCKING GO BACK THERE!" - Brian
"I DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING RECIEPT!" - Me
"DOESN'T MATTER, LETS FUCKING GO! WE'LL GET FREE FOOD I'VE DONE IT BEFORE!" - Brian
"WITH THE MOTHER FUCKING RECIEPT!" - Me
"NO, NOT WITH IT!" - Brian
"BRIAN, LISTEN, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, IF YOU CALL JACK N THE BOX RIGHT NOW AND GET OMEED'S TWO TACOS PLUS AN EXTRA FOOD ITEM FOR FREE I WILL STICK MY HAND ON YOUR BARE ASS" - Me

AND BRIAN WALKS IN WITH FUCKING BACON AND POTATO WEDGES, AND THAT'S THE POINT WHERE I STICK THE PVC PIPE BACK UP MY ASS

Love,
Matt

P.S. JUST KIDDING RACHEL I LOVE YOU HONEY BUNS!

P.S.S. ROBIN POSERS = TWO FRESHMAN GALS, ONE SENIOR BOY.