What's on My Mind

Freshmen Contest, Funny stuff

September 14, 2003

WOMM It's finally fucking here! The Hot Babe Contest starts this week. As you can see, TW has massively changed its look. For those of you new, Hilary Duff usually isn't on top of the site, and the huge logo above the links (Go Digital, The Masticators) isn't there either. But, till November, something very odd will be on top of The Warzone, and as soon as I take pictures of girls, Hilary Duff will be gone!

For those of you confused with why we didn't have a Mastication last week, everyone was so busy with lots of things that we couldn't get it together. This week however, we're doing Strawberry Shortcake, so get ready for a ton of pictures there. It was funny because the visitors dropped all this week. We got the lowest amount of hits since early July on Friday. It was sad.

Freshmen Contest

One out of every six people in the school today had a flyer that said something about the hot babe contest. Next week, one of out of everyone four people will have one. The week after, one out of every three people will have one. And for the senior contest, half the school will have a flyer that speaks of this contest.

People have been walking up to me, asking me about the contest, and asking me stupid fucking questions too. But that's ok, hopefully everything will go along well. I've got a big response from all the flyers, and I am currently creating the sophomore, junior, and senior flyers. I already have them all in my head. It's going to be beautiful.

Many freshman girls are starting to feel weirded out by this sort of publicity and intense competition I have put up. Some even backed out last night, two girls in particular. I'm already looking for backups. This contest is all for fun, but its also one that I take seriously. I mean, I spent 6 dollars and 44 fucking cents getting those flyers out, I god damn devote my time and life to this to bring in this amount of people to visit the site.

What I have to say to any contestant reading this, is that anyone has a chance at this. Moderately attractive girls have kicked extremely hot girls assholes. Some just stick their entire hand in there and kill them. Just kidding. In past contests, there has been lots of shocking developments and results. It just has to go with luck. So before you back out thinking you might lose, just slap yourself across the face. You have a 1 out of 2 chance of winning. Simple.

To all voters - voting starts this Friday at 2:00, when I come home from school. You can vote till Sunday at 8:00. You can also vote each day, just not more than once a day, or else the vote will not count.

May the games mother fucking begin.

School Garbage

I think I should just briefly talk about how I felt during the football game. Nick, who never shows any sort of school spirit at all, was enjoying everything he was seeing. He was just sitting in the bleachers....watching a football game. This is the same Nick that I thought hated all sports ever created.

We lost on Friday, 10-8. I was about to get scared because, we almost won, and that just wouldn't be commonplace, or if you like big vocabulary words, trite. But, overall, it was fun, hot, disgusting, and dirty.

Today in school, I was walking to 5th period, and a huge crowd of people were all around a trash can. Some guy was rapping for them. The last thing he said caused such an eruption, the entire cafeteria echoed in "OOOOOoooh's!" I laughed. It feels good to be back in school again. Wait, I'm on acid, nevermind.

You know what I have to keep remembering? The KKK isn't just against black people it's against ALL races that aren't white. So on Sunday, when Jonathan pulled forward on Garth at Birdsong and Billy spilled his Jack in the Box drink over his pants and shirt and said he was going to join the KKK and kill Jonathan, I wondered why he was calling Jonathan a black person. Then I got into more indepth thinking than my usual, and figured, Wait a minute, Jonathan is a gook!

It's ok though, cause I'm a wop.

Anyway, the point of this story is: 1) Jonathan's car has shitty suspension. 2) Billy is dumb for not putting a lid on his drink. 3) Office Depot makes the fucking shittiest copies ever and as I was walking out I said, 'MAYBE OFFICE MAX COULD HELP ME WITH THIS.'

Billy was yelling and bitching at Jonathan for over 20 minutes. Now, I know I exaggerate, but this isn't a lie - Billy fucking used every racial slur in the god damn world. I've never seen a black gook...wait...TIGER WOODS! Tiger Woods and fucking Jonathan are a couple!

End of story: If you're a race other than white, you might need to give Billy a good beating. Billy has put so much hatred and damn mental anguish on every culture but the fucking white people. And he wakes up yelling "Fuck you Ronald McDonald!" in a Scottish accent.

"Yeah dude, I'd take a big fucking bite out of that furr-burger" - Billy

[10 minutes later]

"Next time you think of a furr-burger, think about AIDS" - some random old grandma that had flab on her legs.

Ok, we're done with this section, but lets do a quick vocabulary recap:

  • Gook - Korean (Jonathan)
  • Wop - Italian (Me)
  • Sterling Football = Bad
  • Office Max > Office Depot
  • AIDS < Old flabby women
  • Furr-Burger = Billy Brooks

    More Random

    I would just like to comment about how people are acting lately. Actually, I have really no friends who have complained about their relationships or love lives lately. Only thing that really needs to happen right now is Billy getting laid because he doesn't know how to talk about anything else and Jonathan's...wait, I'm not supposed to mention that.

    Oh, I'm going to Homecoming...with the most greasy, disgusting, rat-infested mother fucking bitch in the world, Rachel Barajas. Actually, just kidding, Rachel is extremely pretty and stuff. Oh, Tommy really did make up "bacon y stuff." But, I made up "pretty y platanos" a couple of nights ago when I was trippin on some Sunny Delight.

    BTW - Jonathan's birthday is this week, Andrew's birthday is next week, Cheryl's birthday is the week after that, Angela's birthday is the week after that, Tim's birthday is the week after that, wait, maybe two weeks, I'm not sure, and the week after that is Billy's birthday, and then skip two weeks and that's Nick and Tommy's birthday. So many sexy people with birthdays! Especially people who like to chop off pony heads!

    For you gamers, Half-Life 2....will it come out? Will it? No one knows.

    TIME FOR ME TO DIE. Vote on Friday. Then after you're done voting, come to you know where. And, then watch Billy insert. Ew. Tommy's butt ew. Ew. Ew.

    Love,
    Falfi
    The Pony
    Who Angela
    Killed with
    A Fork

    P.S. THANKS ALL EMPLOYEES WHO WROTE ON THE NEWSBOARD! AND THANKS TO BAND FOR HAVING SO MUCH CONTROVERSY CAUSE THAT'S WHAT SPARKED IT ALL!