What's on My Mind

Research Paper, Becky, Complaints

October 15, 2003

 This week, Seniors around the Sterling district have witnessed something none of us have ever thought could be possible - we were all in a bind with the mother fucking devil. This devil, however, isn't even a person, it's a project.

The Research Paper. FUCK YOU!

I've already talked to Jeremy about having several bashes after the party is over, to denote our incredible hate for it. And, we both agreed, that we are going to burn our "I've passed my senior research paper!" shirt. I encourage ALL OF YOU, unless, if you're poor and have no clothes, to do the same.

When life gets so disgusting that you don't go to school to go to the fucking LIBRARY - that's when you've realized, "What the hell am I doing? This isn't logical. I am a FUCKING idiot!" We're not fucking idiots for real, per-se, but, Senior English could possibly be the biggest waste of time since the invention of...no, this is the biggest waste of time EVER. There is no fucking analogies, comparisons, this is definitely the number 1 biggest waste of time of my life.

On June 1, 2003, I reported to many of you that I had three huge things happen in my life that I totally regretted: One, obviously, was moving to Baytown from New York; Two was taking Pre-Cal; Three was taking Physics, because I'm horrible in Trigonometry, which I think is fucking rape by a monkey, and Physics, because I'm just not into it.

Not only am I bumping this list, I'm emphasizing, that my new number two, because NOTHING could ever beat the hate I have for my parents moving from Brooklyn to Baytown, is taking Senior English. Every single one of us could have paid 28 dollars to take a test and pass out of it, so we won't have to do it in high school.

Ms. Stanley, however, one of the greatest teachers I've ever had, CONVINCED us that we should take Senior English. Oh if I didn't love Mrs. Stanley, I think I'd subscribe her to spam newsletters. Not only am I learning absolute shit in English, I'm trying to convince my teacher, WHO IS SYMPATHETIC FOR TAKS, YES NO SHIT, that my book is "original" because in Childhood's End, Aliens came down from space and make a peace on Earth, well, at first.


Just would like to mention something. If you're a senior, and you don't agree with me that this Senior Research paper is the absolute worst school project you have ever done in your thirteen, or fourteen years of education, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS WEB-SITE, GO TO FUCKING DIE.COM, AND THEN JUST WAIT A COUPLE OF MINUTES FOR INSTANT DEATH. YOU ARE AN IDIOT, YOU ARE TRASH.

"Matt, are you done with your notecards?" - Mom
"Haven't started Mom" - Me
"Matt, 100 are due tomorrow!" - Mom
"I know, I'm going to the library" - Me
"You had all week and weekend to do this!" - Mom
"Mom, I'm not going to jepordize my weekend time, my party time, and my fucking sleeping time to work on a project that is absolute FUCKING HORSE-SHIT" - Me
"You do realize that in college, you're going to have to work every night" - Mom
"Fuck that, every night's going to be a party" - Me
"But it's true Mom, this project is single-handedly going to be worse than my thesis to graduate as an Urban Studies Major"
"Then you should put more time and effort into it" - Mom

This was the only good thing about going to the library. Jonathan and Jeremy were there with me, and we talked basically the entire time. Topics ranged from how many fingers we've stuck into pussies to my author being the father of communication. You can fucking bet we spoke more about the pussy one.

I could go on with this. I'm going to write about this in the Baytown Sun. Expect more sarcasm and less cuss-words, because last time I heard old people liked my articles in there. It's funny when parents I don't even know stop me and tell me how great my articles are. And on Friday, while trying to buy a football program, which I think I left at the fucking stadium, a woman said, "Aren't you that reporter guy?" Hard-On DELUXE.

To Becky

From the second I thought about giving the Hot Babe Contest to the Freshmen and introduce them to high school, there was only one girl I had in my mind that could win the entire contest when I thought about it on the 5 train in New York going toward Manhattan: Becky Wilson.

From day one, Becky has ripped apart her opponents and at the final stage completed her successful journey to the crown of the Freshmen Hot Babe, and she represents her class in glory.

Only twenty one of you didn't agree Becky should hold the title.

I guess a dynasty has been made with the Wilson family and The Warzone. Brad, being one of the first employees on TW and Becky being the first Hot Babe for the Freshmen class.

Congratulations Becky, and to all of you who advanced or were nominated in the contest.


Unlike what Herbie likes to say about me trying to keep on topic with anti-prep, anti-government, and anti-school, I'm going to begin my long list of complaints with the world and with society.

My first one is about this commerical. Now, I usually like commericals, especially the Amstel Light Commerical where the woman opens the shower curtain, and there's a fucking turkey hanging from the shower head, and there's a blood-curling scream. Or, the same company putting a sandwich in her bed and when she's about to go to sleep she sees it and screams again.



"Ok, we got ice running through our veins. You ready? Ok let's go!" And you see a newly-wed couple run into Circuit City, ready to NOT BUY ANYTHING. Ok, is it just me, or IS THIS COMMERICAL ALREADY FUCKING STUPID AS IT IS? You can't just expect to walk into Circuit City and NOT want to buy anything. I mean, I could walk into Circuit City poor off my ass and still want everything. But what this commericial is saying, they made an oath not to buy anything before going into the store.

I just don't know what to say anymore. People are mother fucking stupid. MOTHER FUCKING STUPID. Circuit City is an electronic store! Unless you're fucking amish, you're going to want something from it! But since none of us are amish, minus Tommy's family, THIS COMMERICAL MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!


I've just come to that point where there is some mental breakdown in society. And I've decided, I'm going to fight it. Monday night, I came to some strange realization that my life was going the absolute wrong way I said it should have gone in my first column on July 25. So, I'm going to restate it. Many of you have heard this, but I'm going to revise it.

Happiness means absolutely everything - all of you. I can't believe in the past two months, I haven't been. Now, I HAVE AN ABSOLUTE GOOD REASON, but let me just say that I can't blame that reason, but I only blame myself.

Direct quote from July 25:

Here's a life lesson: Put yourself first. Please yourself. Do things for yourself that you do. Don't be miserable. If you live your life miserable, why the fuck are you even alive?

People who cause you to be unhappy shouldn't be in your life. If this is a member of your family, tell them, "I'm sad around you. You make my life shit. I can't wait to get the fuck out of here." If this is a teacher, you ignore them. You work hard, you get help from your peers, and you succeed in that class and you beat the teacher in your mind. Let him or her know YOU'RE the winner, and not let him or her know that you give up because he/she is a fucking asshole. I have so many friends that let other friends or boyfriend/girlfriend pound them, lie to them, cheat on them, treat them like absolute shit. Its time to get out of this guys, if you are one of these people. Get up and say, "I'm not going to take this anymore. I AM [YOURNAMEHERE] AND I HATE THIS LIFESTYLE!"

ROOOOOAR! I AM MATT IMPELLUSO AND I HATE THIS MOTHER FUCKING LIFESTYLE!!!!!!!!! God damn what is my mother fucking problem? Absolutely everything. Fuck it. Fuck it all.

I wrote that WOMM to all of you when I was in a very happy stage of my life. I had nothing to worry about. Now I got Senior Research Paper, The Hot Babe Contest, everything riding my god damn pussy, and let me tell you, it's fucking horrible. But that's no excuse. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!

I'm going to restate it and just be like how I was in July. This is no way to live, any of you. Any of you feeling sad about anything. This WOMM is dedicated to all of you who are stronger, who are in Wars and who are smarter than the opponent. This is different. On Monday night, I was looking at myself and realizing how big of a fucking pussy I am.

This week, I've noticed, is the week of forgiving. But, there's just some things and some people you can never forgive. Fuck what the bible says about pride being a horrible thing for you to hold. Pride is what makes some people. Having pride and knowing you believe in yourself is absolutely the best thing anyone can have. Seven Deadly Sins my fucking ass.

I've screwed up. I've let things get to me. That isn't me at all. For the past two months, I haven't been acting myself. Many of you know that. Many of you have told me. Many of you have supported me. It's time to fucking rumble.

My name is Matt Impelluso, and I'm regaining control of my life, and I'm bringing you guys in for the ride. Welcome to Season 4. The last season of our lives. It's time guys, to fucking begin what should now be in place: The realization that the seniors will not be here in a year.


P.S. This time last year, TW was shut down due to a horrible web-host that we had for about two months. As of right now, I can't disagree with people who say TW is coming back to it's Glory Days. As soon as this Research Paper stuff is completed, we will continue our process to make Season 4 the best and most unique season ever.

P.P.S. And with that said and done, I have a mighty agenda for us to follow. A mighty one. The Masticators have been down for the past three weeks, but as of next week, we will begin again.